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Delivery

There are many issues surrounding medical management of the delivery of multiples such as the rates of Caesarian section and access by the parents to the babies in intensive care. Among the issues that the school needs to consider are:

(i) differences between the multiples associated with birthorder or birthweight. Almost every family is asked "Who was the firstborn?" or "Who was heavier at birth?", but very few parents ask in turn "Why do you want to know?". There is doubt that in the past,parents ask in turn "Why do you want to know?". There is doubt that in the past, there were more problems in the second-born, but changes in medical management have changed this. Yet our studies in Australia have shown many families regard their firstborn as "better", especially if the children are MZ and irrespective of any differences in health-related problems. It as if parents need to identify differences between their multiples and can latch onto minimal differences.

Throughout subsequent sections, the role of such small differences in the comparison and stereotyping of twins throughout childhood and adolescence is emphasised.

SO

As a parent if you feel the teacher should know who is first-born

OR

AS a teacher if you feel you should ask,

Think why such information may or may not matter

"Is not telling a solution? One mother we knew would not even tell the children which of them was first-born with the result it became more of an issue than it should have been".

(ii) one more serious question is the order in which the children come home from hospital. In the 1970's there was a well-meaning attitude especially as lot of twins then were not diagnosed till birth of take one home and used to the baby and then the other one can come. It was recognised that such practices could affect bonding with the second one and they have stopped. But of course there are many situations where there are differences in health status and so one can be ready well before the other(s) to come home. Parents say it is so hard

"Trying to get over the Caesarian while caring for one at home, trying to express milk for the other two, one in the special care nursery and the other still in intensive care, worrying about them and keeping in contact with the medical staff and trying to juggle time between home and hospital. No one told me it was going to be this hard".

No wonder in such a situation, different patterns of parent-multiple attachment can develop and continue well into school. Does the parent bond more with the one who comes home first or more with the "battler", the one who has to fight hardest to make it? In the latter case, are behavioural or school problems for the "battler" always and not necessarily correctly attributed to their difficult start?

"What do you expect of him? He had such a hard start to life?"

THIS IS SOMETHING THE SCHOOL NEEDS TO BE AWARE OF!