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How does comparison and competition between multiples arise?

The real problem with twins is that there are two of them!

This very simple statement hides an important issue with lasting consequences for the development of multiples. From the moment of birth people compare and stereotype them, possibly on the basis of something as minor as birth order or birth weight. It is important to realise how inappropriate this as birth order or birth weight. It is important to realise how inappropriate this is. In the past 40 years or so, obstetric practices have changed. Whereas in the past the second-born was on average at higher risk, nowadays there is very little difference in health between the first-and second born. Yet this accident of birth or a difference of only a few grams in birthweight can have enormous consequences for how the community sees them and they see themselves.

Is it that parents need to see their multiples as individuals? In the Australian work, it was obvious that families latched on to some way to differentiate them. When it came to MZ (identical) twins, they would often base their differences on birth order or birth weight. In D2 (non-identical) twins, especially opposite-sex pairs, there were other more objective bases to differentiate the children

At meetings of parents of multiples, we often ask the question "Have any of you had someone ask "Who was the firstborn (or the heaviest at birth-another favourite question). Almost everyone says, "Yes". Then we ask the question, "Did you ask them why they wanted to know this?"

How does this question immediately establish stereotypes for differences between the multiples?

If one multiple birth child is always compared to the detriment of the other(s), he or she may lose self-esteem and opt out. The children themselves may become over concerned with comparing themselves, looking for differences to indicate that one is better than the other:

" In the nativity play one got really upset because he was a shepherd and his brother was a king. The teacher got really cross as they both had parts, but she didn’t hear the one showing off at home about how the kings had the best clothes."

These effects do accumulate. In a follow-up study of Australian twins, who came home from hospital first after the birth (a common practise in the 1970’s but not so much nowadays) was a major predictor of self-esteem at adolescence.

As the twins were tracked over the years of assessment, it was clear this was something which developed from small differences in preschool to larger differences in primary school and even larger differences in adolescence… Such children had come to conform to expectations.