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Is separation ever essential?

While separation of multiples must never be a routine response to their presence in the school or an essential part of any intervention, there are obvious situations where it is the only realistic solution to problems or potential problems. Typical situations would be where the children are very dependent upon each other and where they may overreact to the other being singled-out. For example, if the teacher spoke first to one twin, the other would nearly always do something to divert attention. Separation may be the best response to such behaviour, but if the same behaviour is happening at home as well as at school, some additional intervention may well be needed.

Another situation would be where the children greatly restrict each other?s activities. Perhaps one will never move on to the next task unless he or she is sure the other(s) have finished. Many adults will have noticed such "checking" behaviour by multiples, and they have to decide whether it is reasonable in its extent, or whether it is causing serious disruption to the children and possibly to the whole class. While separation is often useful in this latter situation, one has to ask why it happens.

Are the twins so low in self-esteem that they must do exactly the same as the other? Or are the other children always comparing the twins and expecting them to do exactly the same?

Another situation is that of differences in ability where one multiple really feels overshadowed by the other. This can so easily become a vicious circle with one child going ahead as they gain more confidence each time they do better than their twin, while the other retreats further and further into a situation of helplessness. Separation may be a solution, but is not the only step needed, as attention needs to be paid to the other children?s attitude to the situation. Perhaps they always focus on the differences between the multiples in a way they do not between the singleborn members of the class? Multiples even in separate classes can still compare their abilities and achievements at home unless this is checked in some way. Not just the parents need to think about this: what of the grandparents who always give something special to the twin who brings home a better report?

Thus the message must be that separation must often be accompanied by other changes if it is to achieve its goal of helping the multiples.

Separation is worth considering if:

• one child is markedly more able than the other(s)
• one child perceives himself or herself as failing
• there is markedly similar progress with one child leveling up or down so that they can keep together
• there is disruptive behaviour where multiples form a "fatal combination"
• one or both children are dependent unable to mix or relate with other children
• there is intense competitiveness so that the child?s main goal is to keep up with or beat their co-multiple(s)
• one or both children polarise (go to opposite extremes)
• there is lack of privacy where one multiple birth child constantly reports to parents about the activities and progress of the other