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Boy-girl pairs

In general girls develop faster than boys and this is nowhere more obvious than in the case of opposite-sex twins. Often the girl is the leader, taking the initiative from her twin brother. You could say he is the bright one to sit back and let his sister do all the work! This is common in preschool and can be quite a problem if it continues into the school years. This situation can be difficult to change as both twins like their position-he enjoys being helped and she likes doing the helping. In fact it is often the girl who objects when attempts are made to change their roles.

Because of this complexity of factors and reactions, simply separating the twins can be a very traumatic approach to the problem. It is better to gradually alter the situation. At home and at preschool, both twins need the message that if he wants something he has to show the initiative in asking for it or getting it himself. Adults too need to remember to make sure he gets a turn to be given messages to take home or to preschool or school, rather than relying on his sister.

"For school reasons, a boy and girl pair were kept together at intake. Both had learning problems because of immaturity and the boy more so than the girl. This created some problems. This year they are in separate classes and the girl is still learning faster than the boy. He is now unhappy because he is older than many of the other children in the class, but they are doing better than he is."