Multiples at secondary school
The aim here is to deal only with issues of adolescent multiples
and schooling. More information about adolescent multiples
in general can be found in Rosambeau's
(1987) book and David Hay's chapter in Sandbank (1999).
What is different about being a multiple at adolescence?
For every young person adolescence means three things
- Going from the top of the primary school to the bottom
of the pecking order at secondary school. In primary school,
being multiples often meant recognition but this may well
not be the same at adolescence.
"I can't work out what happened when my twins got
to secondary school. At primary school they seemed so great.
Now one or another is at the principal's office everyday.
It's like they want to do the wrong things, so they get
attention."
Many years ago Helen Koch (1966)
in one of the few detailed studies of twins at school age
coined the term "the prima donna" effect for twins
who can no longer rely on their twin status to acquire and
retain friends. In the absence of good social skills, they
go "over the top" in trying to get attention.
- Going to secondary school with the very different demands
on organisational skills as you get yourself from class
to class and teacher to teacher. Many of the issue about
separation of multiples no longer apply as they choose their
own set of school subjects that reflect their interests
and abilities. At the same time, problems of attention may
become more obvious, especially when there are not others
to watch out for you:
" I know my triplets are not fantastic at school
but now they are at secondary school, it is so hard. They
forget assignments, they forget books-they would forget
to go to school unless I drove them…There used to be
a trio-now there are three individuals going different ways
and they don't support each other like they used to".
While ADHD is formally
meant to be evident by age seven, our experience is that
girls with the Inattentive form may manage till secondary
school, when the extra demands on their organisational skills
really identify there is a problem that must be addressed
by the young person, the family and the school.
- Becoming a young and independent adult
Every adolescent has to become independent from parents.
But multiples need to become independent also from each
other. And society has a lot of responsibility to accept
in such obvious areas as eating and body image
"My twin girls counted the peas on their plate.
If one had an extra pea, then she/me/the galaxy wanted her
to be fat-how could I cope?"
While this may not seem to be a school issue, it really
highlights differences between multiples and singleborn
children in the recognition of individuality. The French
psychologist Rene Zazzo
coined the term "the couple effect" where twins
may exaggerate differences between each other, to try to
show their independence. That may go as far as one deliberately
underachieving at school to emphasise being "different"
from the other twin or higher multiples.
There is a clear role here for parents to work in conjunction
with the school. Often parents will be the only ones who
have seen how the twins or higher multiples were similar
earlier in their school careers and how differences have
developed. To the school, it is just that one child is outperforming
the other multiple(s) and is attributed just to differences
between siblings At this age it is really a question of
the school, the parents and the multiples working together
to sort out what is happening. This is an interesting paradox
from the usual complaint of many multiple-birth families
that parent-teacher meetings often try to cover all the
multiples at one session, rather than recognising individuality
by scheduling separate sessions. The "couple effect"
does mean a more wholistic approach, recognising multiples
in relation to each other, rather than just as individual
members of the school.
|
